Feelin' the Burn

Well its Monday again. Now that I have my dual appointment (I now work two jobs at the prison to make up for those wretched furloughs that The Terminator so graciously blessed us with as our cross to bear for his gross mis-management of the government), today was the official start of my week. It was also my spotlight return to the gym. I took yesterday off, because even God took a day off every once in awhile. Plus, my calves hurt so bad I could hardly walk a straight line.

Surprisingly, after 10 hours of "hard" work, I was actually ready to take a trip to the gym. So after a delicious (and healthy) meal featuring a stunning array of freshly steamed vegetables and juicy chicken bits all stir-fried with rice and a sweet orange sauce, we scurried to the gym. Sadly, we did not make it to a 5th gym tonight. We stuck to a familiar path and ended up on the nice side of town. Because I really need to hone in on the training aspect of this whole thing, I decided to really push it on the elliptical machine. So in 25 minutes I finally made it to 3.0 miles. I averaged 7.5 mph and kept my heart rate above 160 the entire time. The sweat was, dare I say, magical. If you overlook the grotesque smell and the horrendous heat i was emitting, it was probably one of the prettiest sites around. And I can only imagine that my face shone like that of an angel...or something like that. I would imagine no angel would listen to the pounding of angry Eminem music. Somehow he inspires me to push it really hard.

As I took a stand and proudly declared myself the victor over that pathetic machine, I turned my eyes upon the angry Nautilus machines. As I have mentioned before, those machines were created by sadistic monsters to inflict pain so horrible that people could do nothing but pain ridiculous amounts of money each month to test their valor on them. Today was shoulders, arms and chest day. Now, I know I earlier spoke of my almost inability to put deodorant on because I couldn't lift my arms, but let me be the first to say it quite possibly may be worse tomorrow. I may or may not even attempt to put the deodorant on because as we speak, I can barely rest my arms on this laptop. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed. Do you know what its like to feel that burn that instantly melts every muscle in your body? Yeah, it happened. I am not sure how the muscles realign, but somehow, I hope mine have that ability.

The burn feels good, the burn feels great. I am going to continue to push through all of this madness on my quest.

The next step involves my learning how to portion my foods appropriately. At this point, I simply gorge on food whenever I can. I try to eat healthy, but even then, I eat an entire head of lettuce or a whole stalk of celery. How, oh how, will I correct this? Lap band anybody?

Dr. Travis